Drunk Warlords
by Mandy5
Summary: When Talpa and Batomon head out to the evil convention, they leave the warlords with too much wine. What will they do when the drunk demons decided to visit the mortal world, but meet up with a certain little kid? My other readers tell me it is HILARIOUS.


Drunk Warlords  
  
WARNING: This was written after eating lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of chocolate. It is VERY weird. You have been warned.  
  
The warlords of the evil dynasty (thunder clashes) were all sitting in that temple thing they hang out at, drinking REALLY strong wine. Anubis sat on a bigger chair, much to the other warlords' (thunder clashes) annoyance. "Why do YOU have the bigger chair?" Dais demanded. The other warlords (thunder clashes) nodded and then did several back flips for no reason what-so-ever. "He's right. It isn't fair!" Cale, the warlord (thunder clashes) of darkness, cooruption, and other such evil stuff that makes his fan girls scream and glomp him if this had not been a fan fic that didn't include them. Anyway, back to the point. The warlords (thunder clashes) were mad at Anubis because he had a bigger chair than them. "Mine is bigger because I'M the leader of all of you!" Anubis sneered. The warlord (thunder clashes) were about to beat Anubis up, but suddenly paused. Sekmet was hovering in mid air above Anubis, Dais was pretty much stopped on one toe. He was about to jump on Anubis. Cale had yelled to stop. He looked at the sky with an angry (yet cute) look on his face. "Will you stop that?!" He demanded. The sky looked at him innnocently. "What?" The unrealistic talking sky asked, batting it's eyes- er, clouds. "Stop with the thunder!!" Cale said. "Make me!" The sky said, hotily. Cale gave the sky a very scary face and it ran away in fear. "Can we continue?" Sekmat, the hovering warlord (.....) asked. Anubis was cowering in his bigger chair as they beat the stuffing out of him.  
  
A few hours later, the warlords sat all over the place, completely drunk. All of the REALLY strong wine was gone. "MUTANT BUNNIES!!" Dais suddenly yelled suddenly. "Must have more wine...." Cale muttered. "Let's go ask Master Talpa!" Anubis suggested, hyperly. "Yeah." Sakmat said, playing with his tounge because he never noticed that he had a wet pink thing stuck in his mouth. They all got up and started to look for their master. On the way, they discussed the many uses of a piece of bacon glued to an old shoe with tomato paste. Much to their dismay, Talpa was at the evil convention with Batomon. They had left the warlords at the castle with lots of wine, figuring that they would pass out from the alcoholic intake before it was gone. They obviously didn't know too much about their drinking habits. "Master Dalpa!" Cale slurred. "No. It's Master Palpa." Anubis "corrected" slurring just as badly. "Maybe he went to the mortal world to look for the mutant bunnies." Proclaimed Dais in a tone that suggested that he was proclaiming something, which he was. The other warlords stared at him. "TO THE MORTAL WORLD!" Anubis said. They other warlord nodded, did several back flips again, made brownies, turned around in a circle, and then follow the warlord of cruelty. When they got to the mortal world, Talpa was nowhere to be seen. "Master Talpa!" Dais yelled in a really high pitched voice. They heared laughter coming from..... from...... a place that a person could walk on, while being heard, yet not seen, until it is right for the plot (what plot?) of the story. Abubis' eyes narrowed on the source of the sound. Yuli had just walked over the thing that we were just talking about, but would take to long the explain again. He was alone (so we don't exactly know what he was laughing about). He had just realized that the warlords were there, in sub-armor. "RYO!!!" He screamed. The warlords walked up to the boy menacingly. Yuli was frozen in fear. He couldn't move. He wasn't mobile anymore (Yes, I'm done reiterating). Then, with unthwarted drunkness, they (dramatic pause) bowed down. "Can we have more Talpa, Master Wine?" Anubis asked. Yuli's expression of fear melted into one of totaly cute (in a little kid way) confusion. "What?" He asked. Just then, the ronins and the ancient on came running onto the scene. " Ohmygosh! It's the warlords!" The ancient one said wisely. "And their......! Bowing to Yuli?" Sage said, just as confused as the others, yet not half as confused and out of it as the drunk warlords. "We ran out of wine. We want more!" Dais insisted. Yuli's face changed from confused to realization. He grined and turned around to speak to the ronins. "They think I'm Talpa!" He exclaimed. "Why?" Kento asked, scratching his head, and then doing a back flip. "They had too much wine. Now they want more!" Yuli was obviously excited about this. "What are you going to do now?" Ryo questioned questionably. He was completely ignorant of the widening grin on the little boy's face. "I think I'll have a little fun." He said, his grin was so big that his mouth fell off and Mia had to sew it back on. "Well? Can we have more wine?" Cale asked. "No. From the sound of it, you've had enough." Yuli answered. "Did you find the mutant bunnies?" Dais questioned. Yuli looked at him and blinked..... and breathed..... and his heart beat. Aside from that, he was REALLY confused. "But we WANT more wine. We drank all of the wine that you gave us!" Cale whined. "NO." Yuli/Talpa said firmly. About that time, Cale started to throw a temper tantrum. "I WANT MORE WINE!!! I WANT MORE WINE!!!" He shouted, pounding his hands and feet on the ground. The other warlords joined in. "STOP IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Yuli screamed suddenly. The warlords immediatly stoped, and the ronins inched away quickly. "We're just gonna leave you and the warlords to.....do whatever." Cye said, and they all turned around and bravely ran away. "Okay, Master Dalpa." Anubis said, unsmartly. "For now on, call me Master Yuli." Yuli told his temporary warlords. "Why?" Cale asked.  
"Because I like that name better."  
"Why?"  
"Because it sounds better."  
"Why?"  
"Just because."  
"Why?"  
"BECAUSE I SAID SO!!!!"  
"Okay, Master Yuli. But that is the same name of that annoying little brat that hangs out with the ronins." Sekmat pointed out, pointedly. "He is not annoying." Yuli said, self-rightiously in a tone of self-rightiousness. "That s'not what you said. You said when we destroyed the ronin peacocks, we were gonna torture him and then kill him by throwing him into the dungeon with a bunch of man-eating goldfish." Anubis said. Yuli turned white, and then green, then yellow, then orange, then purple, then blue, then plaid, then torquoise, than back to white. "Ooooooo. Pretty colors." The warlords said, staring at his face. "Ummmm.... We're not going to do that no more." Yuli said, and continued before the warlords could argue. "We are going to trash the dynasty." "Why?" Dais asked. "Because it's fun." Yuli giggled. The Warlords gave a woop of joy and followed their "master" to the nether world.  
  
"What do we do now?" Sage asked the group. "I guess we can wait until the warlords-" But Ryo was interupted by a big clash of thunder. He looked up and yelled at the sky, "Shut up!" The sky ran away in fear. "Until the warlords regain their senses." Ryo finished. "But then they'll kill Yuli." Rowen said. "So?" Kento said, boredly. The ronins and the ancient glared at him. "I mean, Oh no!" Kento corrected himself. They all stood up heroicly.   
"We have to make sure he doesn't get hurt." Ryo said.   
"Yeah, it's our duty to make sure he's okay." Sage.  
"We can't let the warlords hurt him." Rowen.  
The other ronins nodded in agreement. White Blaze got up, thinking that their was finally going to be some action. The ronins and ancient looked ready to kick some dynastly butt. "Okay." Ryo said. "White Blaze!" The tiger roared in response. Then with a heroic expression he said. "Go look after Yuli for us, will you?" They all sat back down and started playing solitare with a deck of cards that had just magicly appeared from nowhere. White Blaze sweat dropped and fell over. Reluctantly and with great reluctance, he went off to find the evil-acting boy. He found him walking towards a gate that led to the nether world. As he walked up to the boy, Dais attacked him. "DIE MUTANT BUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!" He screamed. "Stop that!" Yuli demanded. "But it's a mutant bunny!" Dais whined. "Well, this mutant bunny decided to join the dynasty." Yuli said. "Oh." He said, and dismissed the thought. They had soon all dismissed any and every thought that could possibly enter their drunk heads. White Blaze kept growling at Yuli for letting them think he was a mutant bunny. Unfortunatly, when they got back to the castle, they wern't able to trash it. The real Talpa had returned. "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!?!?" Talpa said ragefuly, in a rageful tone filled with rage. The warlords gasped. "It's that little kid that hangs out with the ronin peacocks!" Sekmat exclaimed. Talpa, who was wearing a T-Shirt that said "I'm Evil and I'm Proud of it!", and a hat that said "Evil is #1", looked over at Batimon, who was wearing a T-Shirt that said "I'm an Evil Spirit. Get Used to it!" and had a balloon that said "Nether World Evil Convention." Batimon just looked at the warlords blankly. "Wasn't it your idea to give them the wine?" Talpa said. "Next year we should just lock them in the dungeon until we get back." Batimon said, taking a drink of the soda he had bought. "Good idea. Is that diet?" Talpa asked, eyeing the soda. "Yeah. You want some?" Batimon offered. "Sure." Talpa said, taking a drink. After the soda was gone, they realized that Yuli and white blaze were gone. "Where did they get off to?" Batimon asked. "Who cares. We'll just torture him and then feed him to man-eating goldfish after we destroy the ronin peaco- I mean, warriors." Talpa said, using his dynasty magic to clear the effects of the alcohol to the warlords' brains. "No more wine for three hundred years." Talpa said. Anubis sighed and said, "Yes, Master Yuli." "What?" Talpa said, confused. "Nothing." They all said at once. 


End file.
